When I visited the west coast in October, I left a piece of my heart there. Visiting California had been a dream of mine since I was ten-years-old. Rainy San Diego did nothing for me, but the moment I saw the tiniest sliver of the horizon in La Jolla, my heart dropped and it left me breathless, like every good thing in life should. As I stumbled the next two blocks to the ocean, my mind raced, but I can’t recall a single thought. I remember a beach front apartment for rent and a woman with purple hair, but in that instant, I was mesmerized by the Pacific Ocean. In that moment, every bad thing was forgotten and I was just there. I was there, and I was healing in the ocean breeze. I was being washed away every time a swimmer paddled out to the surf. I was taken away every time a bird flew overhead and a boat disappeared over the horizon. In that moment, I just simply was. And that was enough for me.
I wrote that on November 24th, 2010, and on February 13th, 2011, I still feel like I need that ocean seen to wash me clean.
Church was good today. But then again, it always is. I’m getting tired and need to finish my laundry. I could have accomplished more today, I didn’t read the three or four chapters that I needed to. But I finished my worksheet and typed up my Mass Media notes. I really need to work on my debate for that class. I just honestly have no idea what I’m going to say, or what I’m suppose to. I think I’ll talk to the teacher on Tuesday. This is going to be a busy week. My lips are dry. I bought this Aquaphor lip repair last night, so I could just put it on like chapstick instead of using my fingers in class. I have yet to decide if I like it. It has a weird taste to it, not that I’m trying to taste it. You know, it’s a messed up concept.
Plus my nose is cold and my eyes are getting droopy, but I’m really not one to complain. It’s just annoying. I’ve been so lazy lately. I should be doing more. I’ll be real busy this week though. Sometimes, I just feel like I could be doing more. Sometimes, I just wish I was doing be more. Sometimes, I just want to be more.