And I keep checking in, just to make sure you’re alive.

Another day is almost over, and I’m still getting stronger.

 

 

 

 

I know you think it’s a million other things, but I’m honestly just worried about you. Because, for whatever reason, I do care about you. I think a part of me always will. I don’t think you can love someone as much as I loved you and then expect to not care for them when they’re gone.

But I’m better off without you, and I know that. I just wish I knew how you were doing. I wish you were honest with me. I wish I knew what was going through your mind. I wish I knew why things ended like they did. I wish they hadn’t.

I failed you, but you failed me, too. We both had our downfalls, we both had our weaknesses. The problem was, we couldn’t see eye-to-eye. We didn’t have a common goal. We always thought we did, but we never really knew what each other wanted. We never really knew what we wanted for ourselves. We simply knew that we made each other happy. That we both wore our watches the same way and that wanted simplicity that just didn’t exist in our daily lives. We were an escape from reality for each other, for a while. We knew our old-fashioned ways made us unique to each other, and to the world. But I think in our hearts, we always knew this couldn’t last. We were asking too much.

You always said that I had no idea what it was like to have someone love them and you couldn’t love them right back. I guess you were right. But I did know what it was like to love someone who didn’t feel the same.

I loved you, but I never wanted you to have to learn how to love me back. I wanted you to find happiness and love on your own, but I didn’t want you to leave my life in the process. I’m sorry it happened the way it did. I’m sorry for the things I said, or didn’t say. Or that I did or didn’t do. I’m so, so sorry.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: