When did I stop striving to be more? When did I lose sight of these goals and dreams I had and just settle for getting by and doing okay?

I have always had big plans. If I could be anywhere after graduation, I’d be in a city loft, working for a high-end magazine and taking photographs. Spending my free time scouring the city for beauty, working out at the gym and sending gifts home. Why am I not doing these things? When did I settle for staying in St. Charles, thinking about taking classes on photography and sign-language at the local community college while working a 9-5 job? Is it because I don’t think I can make it in a big city by myself? Or maybe I just need another year to save up some money, apply for jobs and then really make it big?

Sure, I’m at the tail-end of twenty-two, but while that seems so young, it feels so old. I see these people doing all the things I want to and wondering why I’m not, wondering what is stopping me. And then I realize, I’m what is stopping me.

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