Taking a Bite of Humble Pie

Take a Bite of Humble Pie…

…or in my case, eat the whole thing.

Life isn’t easy. Whoever says it is, well, they’re a liar. We read joke about suing Disney for giving us a the wrong ideas about love and fairytales and happily every after, but in reality, nothing in life is really like it is in the movies.

You don’t always get the boy you want (usually that’s something you’ll thank God for later, but if you don’t believe me, just ask Garth Brooks…), the ugly girl doesn’t always come out on top to win Prom Queen, and your “college experience” is nowhere near as perfect as the movies portray it to be. One big party? More like four (or four and a half) years of hard work, late nights studying, struggling to make it to 8am classes after working your part-time job and not getting home until midnight, declining going out for drinks with your friends because of a group project you’re doing solo… yeah, a real “party” that is (granted, I ended up in a national honors society and graduated with a 3.55 GPA, which may compare differently to the grades that some of those partiers got…let’s not get into the ones that could go out every night and still pass with a 4.0, we kind of hate them…)

Life is Supposed to Be Easy

I’m getting off track. Life isn’t easy. It’s supposed to be, but it isn’t. As humans, we make it complicated. As a perfectionist, I always feel as I though I fall short.

If you’ve been following my blog for any good length of time, you’ll know that I took two months off after graduation to travel throughout Europe. When I did this, I gave up my retail job at Victoria’s Secret, I declined a position at the ad agency I was interning at (which wasn’t really a “real” offer, but we won’t get into that right now) and I agreed to move back into my parent’s house.

Now, in my “movie-perfect” mind, I was going to return from my trip (okay, if I’m being honest, I had no intention of returning home from my trip – I really thought I was going to fall in love and never come back. Well, I met a boy, but I ended up back in Missouri, so that story doesn’t need any further explanation).

theleadingedgeblog.com

theleadingedgeblog.com

Fairytale Fail

But alas, here I am. Back in my parent’s basement. I didn’t expect to be here for this long. Somewhere in my crazy mind, I was only going to be back for a month or two before I snagged my “dream job”. I’m not sure how I planned to snag it so quickly, especially since I’m not even entirely sure that I have one… I’m also not sure who I expected to just hand me a job, or why I thought it would be so easy to come by. But I did. And I have found that I was so very mistaken.

So, here I sit. Slowly moving from the spare room upstairs to an empty room back in the basement apartment at my parent’s house, seeing as I’m going to be here for longer than originally expected. I’ve been getting my niece ready for school and on the bus, working out, doing internship blogs and working at a new pub in town for some cash to start paying off my credit card and student loans. I’m still job hunting, kind of. It’s awfully depressing when there is absolutely nothing available, and you haven’t heard back from anywhere you’ve applied so far. Wait, that’s a lie. I actually did get an “although we were impressed with your qualifications, we have decided not to move your application forward” email the other day. I think I liked not hearing back better…

But I will readjust my big girl panties and continue  moving forward. Continuing to move forward may be a slow process, but at least I’m not idle. If we stop moving forward, we will never get anywhere in life. I know God has great plans for my life, even if my small human brain cannot seem to figure out what they might be as I spend this season of my life waiting tables and rely on my parent’s for my room and board. I guess you could say that I’m learning patience in this process, as well.

And who knows, maybe I’ll be like Alexis Bledel’s character in Post Grad. Move home, put up with my crazy family, meet a cute guy, get my dream job…

My life might not be an academy award winner, but it’s still a movie. Once I’m lucky enough to get to be the lead star in.

Update!

Woah baby, where has November gone?! This month has been crazy! But wonderful. I’ve dropped some more weight, bought my plane ticket for EUROPEEEEE, had a wonderful Thanksgiving break at home with my family and am so close to graduating and moving out of this apartment that I can barely stand it!

I’ve had a hard time concentrating on school with so much else going on, but I’m working to get through these last three weeks of presentations, projects and finals. I am so over classes and college. I can’t believe that in less than three weeks, I will HAVE A DEGREE!! Wow.

I move home in two weeks and I’m actually looking really forward to it. I’m ready to spend some time with my family, get back into my workouts and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime. After Christmas, I’m heading to Virginia on a road trip with a childhood friend to move her onto base and spend New Years with some friends. After I get home, I’ll go crazy trying to get things done before I leave on a TWO MONTH TREK THROUGH EUROPE. I cannot wrap my mind around the amazingness that is about to be my life.

Of course, when I get back, I’ll have no money, no job and no place of my own…but who cares! Things will work out, they always do.

 

And until then, I’m worry free, happy and so in love with this great thing called life.

Well, hello again.

Busy Bee!

I’ve been vacant for about two weeks now and I miss blogging! I honestly couldn’t begin to tell you where the last few weeks have gone and now my favorite month is coming to a close all too quickly.

It has been busy! Midterms, work, weekends away – so much going on, but I absolutely love it.

Here goes nothing…

I have made the first few steps towards some MAJOR life changes, or transitions, as some psychology students might call them. I have decided that after I graduate in December, that I will move home for a few months. I have quit Victoria’s Secret and just broke the news that I would not be taking the position I was offered at the Ad Agency I have been interning at.

This was a HUGE decision for me, once that I have really been struggling with the past few months. I don’t see going home as a failure, although I see it as being in the middle of nowhere, with my entire family and out of a job – so it’s kind of scary. But more-so, I see it as an opportunity. I’m going to spend the holidays with my family, take a month or so off to travel through Western Europe, and then begin applying for jobs when I return.

I couldn’t be more terrified and thrilled for my decision. I really think it will give me a chance to figure out who I really am now that college is almost over, and it will help give me a sense of what I really want to do with my life. I can’t explain how much I need this time for myself. I can’t tell you how much I need this time with my family. I am so ready for this “break” to regroup.

I’m anticipating that many people are going to tell me it’s a terrible decision, but I don’t care what they think. This is my life and these are my decisions to make.

 

I’m ready.